It has been a rough week, what am I saying, it has been a rough year. 🙂
Had I only known what all would take place as our family set out for Nepal, I think I might have gone running back to the car.
As we began our time here, we spent the first few months settling in, getting accustomed to life overseas. Just when we got into the groove of it all, our world was shaken, literally by two major earthquakes. Months were spent doing relief work, and striving to live without fear of another big quake.
As the tremors slowed down, rumors began to be dispersed of the borders between Nepal and India closing. And in a matter of days, the petrol and cooking gas were gone. This lasted for months on end, as we put our feet good use and did a lot of walking.
Finally the blockade ended and just when we thought things were getting back to normal, a drought set in. Month going on month, there has been little to no rain.
This has caused wells to dry up, and has made it impossible it seems to get a tank of water. For the past week, we have called one after another water supplier, we’ve been told they would come, but then they have failed to show.
And as you can imagine, we have had to become creative with our limited water. By hand washing the essentials, sponge bathing, using paper plates and cups, and doing limited cooking.
Leading to short tempers and frustrations all around. Making me wonder sometimes why I’m here. When I could be back in the States where water flows in abundance, petrol lines are short, cooking gas isn’t needed, there is no such thing as load shedding, and the ground doesn’t shake.
Especially when we have rough mornings like today, and I struggle to be a good wife and mom, much less a good missionary.
But as I read today from the Bible, I was reminded that just because God leads us to do things, doesn’t mean that those things won’t be without problems.
Problems,suffering, trials and temptations are part of life. No matter where you live. They come in different ways and affect us in different ways. Yet, none of us is immune.
Today, I had the thought, if we were back in the States, I wouldn’t have lost it this morning… but then God quickly spoke to my heart and said, no. Reminding me that it isn’t the place, it isnt’ even the conditions we find ourselves in that determines our response to life’s problems.
Instead it is the condition of our hearts. Sure, life can be hard. But God is teaching me that when I’m abiding in Him, nothing is impossible. Teaching me that the best way to be content in whatever situation I am in, is to all remember that I can do all things through Christ.
What trials and temptations are you facing today? It is easy to blame how we act, easy to excuse our sin. Yet, the reality is, those things are not the issue. The issue is being found in Christ. Dead to self and alive in Him.
Oh how far I have to go. Often people want to put me on a pedal stoole and tell me how proud they are of me, or they think me so godly, so strong. When the truth is, I’m far from it. I’m weak, I’m fearful and often controlling. I lose it just like others, I struggle to be the wife and mom I need to be, and I care a little too much about what others think.
But God…. despite it all, God chose me, called me and sent me. And I am blessed to be His and blessed to be used.
So yea, I could go home and I would not have to deal with the same daily struggles found here. But I’m realizing that there would be other struggles, other temptations, other trials.
And what matter more than where I am, or what I do. What matters the most is whose I am.
And because I belong to Jesus, I will continue striving daily to become more like Him, and less like me. Allowing God to help me die a little more daily through the problems that come my way, and learning to trust Him a whole lot more.
Rough days, weeks and years are bound to come. But God is unchanging. Always faithful, always loving, always kind, patient, and gracious. And always ready to help us through.