The truth is, I remember feeling this way as well. Oh I had a heart and passion for missions, but I was a little fearful of where God might send me. A little apprehensive about what all it might entail.
I can remember vividly after my husband and I got married being terribly afraid. While dating, and during our engagement. All we could talk about was going to China as missionaries. This was our goal, our greatest desire. Even after we said, “I do.” The desire was there. But then…. I found out I was pregnant and somehow moving my little baby to China, didn’t sound so exciting anymore.
And I said, “No, I won’t go.” Immediately all the paperwork we were in the midst of was pushed to the back burner, and my husband accepted a pastorate in Arkansas. We would end up serving there for 3 years and at a church in Tennessee for another 3 years before I was willing to say, “Yes, Lord, Send Me!”
Fear is a powerful tool of the enemy. A tool he has used way too many times to count in my life.
Fear keeps us from getting serious with the Lord.
Fear holds us back from signing the dotted line, and giving our lives to the Lord. Fear keeps us from telling the lost the news they need to hear the most.
I read an article today by Paul Tripp, entitled “Called to Go.”
In this article he said, “Here’s the principle that I want you to take away today: our job is not to accomplish the task; our job is to go. Let God do the saving. It’s your job to do the going. You will never be able to accomplish the task of saving someone. You can’t turn a heart. You can’t create belief. You can’t replace sinful rebellion with joyful submission. Those are acts of divine intervention. But you can introduce them to the Divine.When you live under the banner of “Salvation belongs to the Lord!” (Jonah 2:9), the scary burden of evangelism comes off your shoulders. You’re free to be a messenger only, not a savior. But you have to stop calculating and start going.
Many times we think we can’t do it. We have believed Satan’s lies and think what God is asking is too much, too hard, impossible.
And this is true, if we are counting on ourselves to win a nation to Christ. This is true if we are believing we must save our lost friends.
Yet, this isn’t what God has called us to do. He has not called us to save, He’s called us to go.
Years ago, I gave into fear. Looking back, I have to live with that regret.
Did God uses those year, yes. Were they wasted, no.
Yet, I will never know this side of Heaven, what could have been.
Now, 14 years later, after serving in Korea for a few years, our family is living and serving in Nepal. I have seen the hand of God in amazing ways, and I get to live out His calling day by day.
I will be honest and say it isn’t always easy and it isn’t always fun.
But, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
So, what do you do when your afraid to answer His call?
Well, I can tell you what you shouldn’t do. You shouldn’t say no. Instead you should say, Yes Lord.
You may not be able to recognize how it will all work out. You may feel what He is asking of you is too much. (and it is for you, but not for Him)
But as you say yes, and step out-of-the-way, you will see how God can and will bring this calling to pass.
Let us not be like Jonah, who ran from God’s call. Instead let us embrace the plans and purposes He has for our lives.
Blessings from Nepal